What's Your Sign?

Because of a great link a friend posted earlier this week (see end of this post), I have been thinking a lot about signs.

This link wasn't the first time, or the last I'm sure, that I have seen someone express how nice it would be if we could all just wear a sign that says what we're going through at that time:

"Please excuse any rudeness on my part, I have a 6 week old colicky baby that doesn't sleep at night and I am nearly insane with sleep-deprivation"

"Forgive me if I don't smile, I have social anxiety"

And so on.

My daughter and I talked about all of the wonderful people we met at the home for disabled adults (see Maybe the Best Kickball Game Ever). We talked about a few of the kids we know who have disabilities of their own: downs syndrome, autism, fetal alcohol syndrome...just to name a few. In each of these cases it is fairly apparent after a brief meeting that there is something, even if you don't know what, that this individual is dealing with that allows us to alter our expectations. We cut some slack, because we know that's what we'd want someone to do for us if the tables were turned.

But what about those of us who have something going on in life that you can't see in our face? What allowances do we make for each other when it seems to the naked eye that everything is square and hunky dory? One of my favorite songs says, "in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see." I love this link below, because it expresses perfectly what can be hidden in a heart when it looks, to the outside world, like everything should be okay. We all need a little slack. We all need a little more patience and forbearance....because you never know what sorrow is hiding where.

http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/2151

Stand By Me

Dave taught our family night last evening on...what else...service. It occured to me that I should point out something vital to my children: serving our family, friends, community and world is not about helping "those less fortunate", its about community. Its about being human. Because I know that anyone we do anything for this year, were the tables turned, would be doing the same for us. Because I know that one day it WILL be us...whether its death, disease, loss of job...the list is endless...one day it will be our turn to accept all the service that will be rendered to us. Its as simple as that. No one goes through this human life alone...no one can. We are constantly, inevitably dependent on each other. Its not about "haves" and "have nots", its about the on-going cycle of life that alternately moves us through moments of despair and helplessness to moments of compassion and ability to help. We lift where we stand. We give what we can. Knowing that when the next painful moment comes our way, someone will be there to stand by us.

My sister posted this on Martin Luther King Day of Service, and I think in doing so she said all of this a lot better than I am:

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2539741

Definitions

I love dictionaries.

Where else do you find words like "uranographer" or "multifarious" or "stickleback"?

If I want to really understand a word, I have to go to the dictionary first. Dictionaries understand that words have flavors. They put Baskin Robbins to shame. Every word has its own collection of nuances.

Take the word "service".

My dictionary lists twenty plus meanings for the word "service". It can be a noun, an adjective, or even a verb. Some of us might think of military "service". Some of us might think of "a set of articles for a particular use, such as a dinner service." Maybe you are thinking of a religious gathering or rite, or tennis, or of a liturgy (if you are thinking that, you must be really smart). But the kind of service I am talking about is found in definition number 2: "performance of labor for the benefit of another."

This is a blog about spending a year involving my family in that kind of service. Service as in "conduct contributing to the advantage of another". Service meaning "an act of helpful activity; help; aid."

I have asked myself many times since this little idea wriggled into my head: Why? Why are you doing this? Like everyone else, extra time for another thing to do isn't exactly thick on the ground. And quite honestly, like everyone else, I already do a lot of service. So does my husband. So do my children. But I guess what I realized is that we aren't usually doing it together. Is it a necessary distinction, after all? Well, I guess I'm going to find out. I want to see what happens when we plan, experience, and review it all together.

In the end, I realized the reason why I want to do this comes down to definition #20: "Nautical. tarred spun yarn or other small stuff for covering the exterior of a rope." Why would you want to cover rope with tarred, spun yarn? Admittedly, I am not a nautical expert, but I can't help but think it is to protect the rope. So that's why I'm doing it.

Not because I want to protect rope. I have a teenage son. I have a daughter who is just about a teenager, and two more little children who one day will be.

I watch them grow and I realize the things they want most from me are not cell phones or video games. They don't need fancy vacations, the latest clothing, or even their very own bedroom. They want to experience what it means to be human. They want to explore the depths of the human heart and soul. They want to see another human being face to face, eye to eye, and they want to understand and be understood.

If they can do this, I can't help but think that some of life's nastier squalls might be made easier to bear. Not that they could ever bypass those storms, but at least they will have a life line, sealed and protected, to hold on to.